Crash and Burn
by Sachiko Keidi Honoki
Summary: The countries have done it now. The bosses decided to have them stay in one house to solve their differences. But how can they if they can't even resist ripping each other's throats out. Beware of randomness, crack and some OCs. Not a country x OC.
1. Shit's hit the fan

**(A/N) HEY! This is my first fic, my baby crack plushies! Constructive criticism is accepted with open arms by yours truly. Thank you for taking time to read this.**

**Disclaimer: Hetalia is not mine, it is the most valued copyright of Hidekaz Himaruya or 'Himapapa'**

* * *

_**CRASH**_

"ALRIGHT THIS IS THE FINAL STRAW!"

Everything was silent at the World Summit, for once because every hall was usually filled to the brim with countries brawling.

But not today,

No sir.

The President of the United States of America stood in front of the scene that was so repetitive at some point in his life he got used to this.

Who am I kidding? He never did.

Well the previous head honcho should've warned him about some things that would make his life a teensy weensy bit easier like always double check your speech, never ask for pudding on Fridays, don't leave your cell phone somewhere because someone might find it and use it as dirt against you or let's say ummm oh I don't know

ABOUT THOSE STUPID PEOPLE WE CALL 'COUNTRIES'?!

But he never did. Thanks a bunch he appreciates the concern for his wellbeing, please not the sarcasm.

The boss remembered the day he met the country he was suppose to be leading.

Let's say it didn't end nicely, and the president was out of commission for weeks. America wasn't the same when he got back.

Ahh Good times…

Alright back to the story, so the countries were fighting again for the umpteenth time since forever and like what was previously said earlier it was the final straw.

"This is the millionth time I've seen you fighting like children!" the president growled at the countries.

"Chill dude it was just a few times." America decided to cut in.

Wrong choice dude.

"A few times? A FEW TIMES? A lot of international scandals were created because of all of you." His boss spat back.

"Oh like the one in…" America started but was abruptly cut off.

"Oh don't get me started on you America you're just as bad as the others maybe even worse I thought I taught you better than that."

Obviously you didn't.

The President exhaled loudly glancing at the ruined walls of the hall which was covered in Nutella.

The other countries just looked at him in silence.

"The others and I already talked about your… behavior and we've all decide to have you stay in a house for a year and settle _THIS – '' _he waved his arms wildly "– once and for all."

Okay, even Germany can't argue with that.

"A whole year? I can't stay with them for a whole bloody _YEAR._"

"Well it's either this or we brainwash you with Justin Bieber songs from the internet." England visibly cringed at the suggestion.

"Alright I'm fine with the staying in one house thing."

"When have you talked about this?" Germany asked regaining his composure. _Yes, Germany _freaked _but you didn't see it because it was cut off by the Ger-etgdtjeb_

**The authoress was quickly cut off by some guys in black suits.**

**She waved nonchalantly at them "Hey sup'?"**

**One of them adjusted their sunglasses. "Ma'am you are not supposed to reveal that."**

"**Oh, I wasn't?" The authoress leaned back into her office chair.**

"**Affirmative."**

**She just shrugged "Okay then, that'll remain to be our dirty little secret." She cackled**

**A hand suddenly came out of nowhere and slapped her head, eliciting a whine from the self-proclaimed victim.**

"**Hotshot, stop making things perverted." An authoritative voice echoed around the underground lair.**

**The authoress hung her head and sighed "Yes, onee-chan."**

**She placed her hand on the keyboard again.**

Umm… okay that was a little awkward.

**The fourth wall will remain untouched until the chapter ends!**

Yes, onee- chan.

BACK TO THE STORY!

The president looked at him and replied "We discussed the matter on the day when you went to Vegas and came back with America married to a coconut."

"But she was a beautiful coconut!" America argued.

"You divorced 'her', git." The Brit slammed his hand on the American's head.

"Ve~ So whose-a house are we-a going to stay in?" Italy piped up from behind Japan who blinked blankly in response.

"England's? China's? Russia's? Wait, on second thought; dudes don't tell me it's Russia." America inwardly shivered at the very thought of staying in Russia's house.

"Well you see…" The President said awkwardly.

The door slammed open alerting the countries of the newcomer, making them look back dramatically.

"You're staying at my place desu yo!"

* * *

**_Haha cliffhanger Got an idea on who might the host be?_**

**_So how did I do? Please comment_**

_**Please review if you want, I don't force people to say stuff they don't actually mean.**_

_**See you whenever**_

_**~Skylar Trap**_


	2. Sis? You're here?

**A/N: I am back with an update which is longer than the last, like I've said I'm on a roll. I was inspired by** **Gir'sdoomsongofdoom so I got up and typed another one of these bad boys. Wow, I have so much time in my hands.**

**When I scanned the first chapter again I thought 'Holy shiznits did I write that crap?' so being the review seeker that I was wrote this chapter with care and consulted the person renting a room in my brain called 'conscience' and his brothers 'creativity' and 'insanity' who are twins. **

**And I'll make a revised version of the first chapter if procrastination lets me.**

**This chapter is dedicated to Gir'sdoomsongofdoom because, you are my very first reviewer even if my first chapter was crap, I salute you.**

**Oh, and Roxburry Black, you remind me of my onee-chan that I mentioned in the first chapter so I baked you a batch of virtual cookies and I could send them to you ****_but_**** I don't know where the hell you are so… I sent them via Iggy's magic don't worry he didn't touch them.**

**Disclaimer: Hetalia is not mine and it will never be mine *sobs pathetically in one corner***

* * *

"**_HUH?!" _**The small band countries were surprised at the person standing in front of them.

"Hey! Stop using my tic, desu yo!"

Sealand was stationed on the shoulders of a female who was grinning like an idiot ignoring the previous outburst.

She took a glance everywhere and whistled. "I don't know what you did here but you all messed up this time."

"Who are you?" England asked the newcomer.

Said newcomer looked scandalized and dramatically gasped forgetting momentarily that Sealand was on her shoulders. "Who am I?! **WHO. AM. I?! **I was the one who told you that your eyebrows looked normal on you!"

Sealand looked a little smug "Look at what you did Jerk-England you made big sis upset."

SILENCE

Then the pie named 'realization' hit their faces and left them with a creamed mess.

Mmmm…pie

There, holding Sealand on her shoulders like he weighed nothing was Skye. She was the care-taker of all the countries. The assigned guardian of these said personifications because all of her siblings were lazy asses to do this job. She was also the personification of the sky, her namesake with an added 'e' at the end. China's age would be nothing compared to hers.

Okay that was a little too far but let's face the facts, the sky's been there since the world was created so it would make sense for her to be _that_ old.

Her long brown hair was slightly being messed up by Sealand because of perching his hands on her head and jade eyes shone with amusement towards the countries bafflement.

…

**_"BIG SIS!" _**America rushed towards the female who quickly placed Sealand on the ground then behind her before the hyper-active American collected her in a bone-crushing bear _slash_ man hug.

"H-hey Alfred, nice to see you too." She managed to wheeze out against Alfred's chest.

Alfred only crushed Skye's lungs in response.

"Alfred… she can't breathe, you git."

"Oops."

The victim of Alfred's bear hugs looked a little blue in the face as Sealand tried to steady her. She regained her breathing slowly. "I forgot how strong you are Alfred."

"Aww, shucks-"

"You could kill someone, don't use it again."

Thus the emo corner is established and it will have users each chapter.

The authoress can't ignore hitting the fourth wall with her sledgehammer.

"Peter, what in blazes are you doing here?"

"Skye told me that it was inappropriate for a fellow country to be out of a meeting."

The two held a secret high-5 from England.

He just rolled his eyes thinking it was not worth his time and placed his attention to the brunette.

"My apologies, Skye I didn't recognize you because it has been so long." England awkwardly scratched his head.

Skye looked at him with an unreadable expression then bonked him on the head "You idiot, I changed your diapers, ate your cooking and went with you to look for flying mint bunny then you _forget _me?"

"Dudes, shit's hit the fan." America whispered to the others while they quietly agreed. Sealand already left Skye's side to stand next to the others where it is 99.99% safer. Japan stealthily brought out his camera (Okay, where the hell did that come from?) to take pics on the possible brawl that will take place.

"I missed you too, Arthur." Skye's expression quickly changed as a smile took place on her face.

England had the 'WTF' face.

What the fuck indeed.

She spread her arms out and opened then closed her hands in the universal notion for a hug. Oh-Kay that was screaming 'BIPOLAR'.

"C'mon Artie~ give your sister a BIG hug." A smirk wormed its way on Skye's face, mentally challenging Arthur.

Arthur narrowed his eyes making his infamous eyebrows meet.

Emerald clashed with Jade.

This is a sign that a civil war will be brought out between these two personifications.

…

He was like 'Oh no you di' int'

And then she was like 'Oh yes I did'

The tension between the two was so thick you can cut through it with a chainsaw. Then an oblivious Italian decided to shatter the uncomfortable silence with a mind-changing question.

"Ve~ Skye, what are you doing here?"

She snapped out of the mind-battle to look at Italy with a cheerful smile.

"Oh yes that reminds me. I am the one tasked to host our year-long sleep-over."

"Sleep over, aru?"

"M-hmm! Or what the bosses call 'probation'."

She blinked twice. "Oh and it's nice to see all of you again. It's been what, decades since our last official meeting?"

"Yes it was, and – "

"OMG **GERMANY!**"

O.O

*glompies*

"Ve~ Doitsu got hugged~"

"Ahahaha! Luddy you're blushing!"

"..."

"I think I broke Germany."

*Poke*

*Poke*

"Uhhh Bruder?"

*Blink Blink*

"Germany, do you want water?"

"N-nein I'm fine, let me breathe for a moment."

"Oh you forgot I'm a huggy type, right?"

"..."

"Ehehehe Of course I'm your schwester albeit not by blood but you get the picture."

There were a few seconds of silence.

"ANYWAYS." Skye combed a hand through her hair and scanned around the room.

She glanced at the remaining countries.

"Get a mop; you're all cleaning this up."

A chorus of groans and words of protest were heard.

Skye raised an eyebrow and surprised the older countries with just two words.

"Tea time."

England immediately stood up and made a beeline towards the supply closet. America looked confused and sent England a look of confusion. "Move." Arthur commanded his former charge.

The others just followed him.

Skye had a look of approval as the others scrambled to get a freakin' mop, she turned and left for the office.

When Alfred saw that Skye was out of earshot. "What's 'tea time'?"

Arthur visibly shivered. "Only the most despicable activity in the universe, I wish you never get a chance to go through that."

…

Had the others looked back they would have noticed Skye motioning for a figure usually ignored to follow her.

"HEY MATTIE! What's shakin'?"

_"You can see me?"_

"Why wouldn't I? You're one of the sanest people I've ever took charge of. _And maybe the most ignored too._"

_"What was that?"_

"Nothing! So how've you been?"

_"Oh, I'm doing fine."_

"Tired of being ignored and confused as America, right?"

_"Maybe a little."_

"Don't worry Mattie maybe someday you'll rise and take over the world with Kumajirou by your side, isn't that a sight."

_"Me? Taking over the world? I don't think I can."_

"Pshhh, are you kidding me you can out power America if you wanted to."

...

America met up with the two to call for Skye but noticed she was talking to thin air.

"Uhh sis, who are you talking to?"

*twitch*

***BAM***

**"****_OWWWWW!"_**

"It's your brother, Matthew, you dunderhead."

* * *

**A/N: Alrighty! I introduced my OC Skye who has the same name as me (not very original) but nonetheless I ran out of options. **

**I hope I didn't make her a Mary Sue because that's the last thing I want.**

**And I now discovered the use of a Horizontal Line hooray.**

**Skye, as you can see is the countries' 'big sister'. She personifies the sky. 'Cuz I thought why not throw in someone who represents the freakin' sky, I mean it's there every day and nobody notices it so why not? She is older than China, but has the physical appearance of a 21 year old, crazy right? She has siblings whom I will introduce in future chapters but I'll let you get used to the context of having Skye as a personification.**

** I noticed I'm focusing too much on America well he's one of the persons whose randomness is enough to catch up with Skye's stupidity.**

**REVIEW PLEASE!**

**Well that's all for now, Take care!**

**~Skylar Trap**


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